A lot at stake today

I know i havent updated in a while. There has been alot going on. We got home about two weeks ago. WOW were we ready. I am ready. I am starting to hate the hospital. We miss being home and the stress is starting to break me. All the sick kids around me and all the things going on are really breaking me down and i just sit there and cry. Jason runs to me (moves from his bed to my couch) and sits and my lap and tells me it will all be okay and dont worry. I keep asking him "why do you always have to comfort me when you are the one that is sick?" He is so strong i dont know how he does it.

He had to come home on IV meds which scared me since i am not familiar with how to do all that. So we get an IV pole and run his medication through every night. That has been a challenge in itself because i miss a step or do it wrong. I get so stressed out about it that if i just relaxed it would be ok. He knows how to run it all and will catch me but phew it makes me nervous.

So transplant is supposed to be around middle of next week. But his liver is elevated and at this point no where near able to handle transplant. I have to take him back today to test his levels and see what direction to go.

It just doesnt right. You look at him and he is fine. We actually had to take him to the barber the other day and trim his hair. He is so strong the chemo doesnt make it fall out.

But next week will be another story. I have to hold back tears when they tells us all that is going to happen. It is scary to think of my little one having so much put into his body and hoping it works.

We did find a donor. A 22 year old female. That is all we know about her. But she is a live saver. Whoever you are i owe you my own life.

OK gotta stop now or i will start crying and i have alot of work to do today.
Shawns bday is also tomorrow so gotta plan something.

Will keep everyone udpated!!! Thanks again!